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Dear Members of the Staff of the College of Communication:
I'm writing to make you an offer: I'm willing to pay $50 apiece for ideas about how to improve the College. Each day, you folks come to work and give us your best. Sometimes, I bet, you confront problems and say to yourself: "You know, someone should fix that thing. Why don't they ...?"
Well, here's your chance to make the College better. For example, I'm giving the first $50 to a staff member who has figured out how to make two faculty offices out of unused hallway space. You all know how tight we are for space in the College, so this is an idea we can really use.
How do you participate? You write me at this My Great Idea form and tell me your idea. Short, practical, to-the-point. Send me one idea per email. I'll then submit your idea to the awards committee consisting of Me, Myself, and I (Myself has been elected committee chair). If the idea is a good one, you get the cash and a bunch of publicity. Right away. And I'll keep giving out money until I deplete the $2,500 I've set aside for this purpose.
So put on your thinking caps. Some ideas (e.g., "Fire my boss") probably aren't ready for prime time, so give me only your best ones and watch the money roll in. Thanks for participating.
Roderick P. Hart
Dean